Talk Dirty to Me
by GreekEMTSlytherinSpriteFairy
Summary: JJ goes home and tells Dave about her case and Garcia's slip up. Slight spoilers for In Birth and Death. JJ/Ro


AN: Well still at the DMV and my computer still has battery so Woot! More writing! So I was watching In Birth and Death last night and I love the scene where Garcia goes "Talk dirty to me" to Strauss. So of course, I'm working this around to fit into a story I can write! Woot! Ok, so in this it's JJ and Dave and let me tell you, Dave is going to laugh. Alright, so kick back and enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own the boredom of sitting at the DMV for over an hour!

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

JJ sighed as she dropped her go- bag inside the door to the apartment. She smiled as she looked around, maybe Dave wasn't so hard to train after all. He had cleaned up their apartment while she was away. She just hoped that he had gotten some of his book written too. She looked around once more. Probably not if the room was that clean.

"Dave?" she called out. She heard some muffled sounds and laughed as a few thuds followed by cusses were heard. She laughed louder as more thuds were heard. Apparently he had yet to clean up his office. "I'll come to you" she called out as she walked further into the apartment and over to the office door. She knocked once before pushing it open and laughing at the scene in front of her.

Dave was lying on the ground on his back, piles of scattered books surrounded him. He raised one of his hands and waved.

"Welcome home" he said. JJ laughed.

"Thanks, I see you, um" she paused, "cleaned the rest of the house" she finished. Dave sat up on his elbows and looked around.

"I had this place cleaned up too" he muttered, glaring darkly at the piles of now scattered books. JJ laughed, carefully stepping over them to stand looking down at her husband.

"Maybe you should, oh I don't know, build bookshelves to put them on" she said, toeing one of the books with her shoe. Dave frowned.

"Why would I do a silly thing like that?" he asked. JJ shrugged.

"To avoid killing yourself. Don't worry though, I can live off of your fortune from your other books" JJ said seriously. Dave narrowed his eyes at her.

"Don't do that to an old man" he huffed, standing up. JJ grinned as he pulled her into his arms, careful of the books.

"Aw why? It's fun!" she said. Dave shook his head and bent his head down, kissing her with all of his might. JJ pulled away and smiled.

"How was your case?" he asked, following JJ as she led them out of the deathtrap, aka the office, and out into the living room. JJ plopped on the couch and Dave settled in next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Horrible. Strauss came with us, the unsub was using his own child, Em, Hotch, and Gideon were no shows until Hotch convinced Em to come with him, Em got hurt with a 2x4, and did I mention Strauss came with us?" she said. Dave rubbed her arm consolingly.

"I think you did, but that's ok, I know what you mean" he said. JJ nodded and laid her head against his shoulder. They sat in silence for a few minutes before JJ's body started to shake in laughter. Dave gave her a curious look.

"Sorry, sorry" she said, trying to regain her breathing so she could tell him why she was laughing. The thought just sent her into another bout of giggles. "So you know how I've told you Garcia answers the phone funny?" Dave nodded. JJ chuckled as she took a deep breath. "Well today Strauss called on speaker phone and Garcia answered with "Talk dirty to me". We all thought Strauss was going to die" JJ said. Dave snorted.

"I don't think she's ever talked dirty to anyone in her whole 50 some odd years alive" he said. JJ laughed so hard she was having problems breathing. Dave laughed too, his more calm and collected. JJ gasped for air once she had calmed down some, Dave rubbed soothing circles on her neck, trying to help. It was funny. "You ok there?"

"Oh I'm fine. Battling between laughing at what you said and throwing up at the thought of her talking dirty" JJ answered. Dave thought for a minute before he shuddered. THAT was a disturbing thought.

"Jen, my mind. It's burning" he said. JJ laughed and kissed him gently.

"How about I talk dirty to you, and you show me what you can do hotstuff?" JJ asked, straddling Dave.

"Oh that sounds like a much better plan" he said winking and leaning forward capturing her lips with his. It was going to be a fun night for them.

~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/~/

AN: Alright so I had to end it with them having a moment! But really, can you imagine Dave's reaction to that line? That would be hilarious! Alright, so let me know what you thought! Thanks for reading, please REVIEW!

PS- 2 and a half hours later, I'm still sitting at the DMV!


End file.
